would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
