was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
