that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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