I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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