How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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