I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
