Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
