i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
