I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
