Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
