we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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