So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
