YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
