im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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