so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
