problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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