Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
