I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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