Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
