at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
