There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
My balls are so social today.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
