i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
