can we get nightvision for the apartment?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
