are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
