went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
