I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
