I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
