We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
