i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
