remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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