I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
