Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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