She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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