She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
