I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
don't judge my taste in strippers
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
