Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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