Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
