Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
