So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
