you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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