She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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