tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
