I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
