I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
