he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
