my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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