I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
