Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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