Cold hands, warm shart.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
