I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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