someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
That's when you crack a 10am beer
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
