She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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