Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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